


How Long Have I Been In This Storm

by VeryFckingAmusing



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Ficlet, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-26
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-30 12:45:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1018786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryFckingAmusing/pseuds/VeryFckingAmusing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They didn't often speak of the siege.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Long Have I Been In This Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Storm - Lifehouse

They didn't often speak of the siege. Not when they could talk of other things; like Renly's disdain for his lordly duties and Loras's fondness for his training. Not when they could talk of Loras's childhood, a much happier story. Not when there were kisses to be had, necks to suckle, hands to roam over eager bodies, producing beautiful sounds and a pleasure unlike anything they had ever ever felt. So Loras was surprised when one late night, after the sounds were made and they basked in the aftershocks of otherworldly pleasure, when Renly brought the subject up so casually.

"A letter came from Stannis today," he announced, fingers running gently through Loras's curls, "It reminded me of something he said when I was a child."

Loras looked up at him, chin resting on his lover's chest.

"Yes?" he prompted.

"He mentioned our parents. He was complaining about some affair," Renly shook his head and scoffed, "Apparently they didn't attend some wedding years past and their rudeness has caused problems for him now. I thought it was a little hypocritical."

He laughed as Loras rolled his eyes.

"Does he never send you letters for any other reason than to complain?" Loras asked, though he already knew the answer.

"No," Renly supplied easily, "But never mind that, what was interesting is that it reminded me of a thing he said to me during the siege."

Loras blinked.

"I was hungry and scared and complaining, myself. I'd taken to writing letters to Robert. I couldn't send them, of course, but it comforted me. By the end I had a good number of them. I never gave them to him, they're probably still stashed around here in fact. Stannis happened to walk in on me writing one. He'd always thought it was a stupid thing to do and never bothered me about it, but curiosity must have gotten the better of him because he took this one from me and read it. I can't remember the words exactly, but I was asking Robert why our parents hadn't prepared for something like this; hidden food in a secret place only we knew. It was childish and meaningless, but Stannis didn't like it."

"What did he say?" Loras asked.

"He said 'Renly,'" Renly paused and smiled softly to himself as he imitated Stannis's gruff, deep voice, "He said 'Renly, for your own sake, never speak ill of our parents again.'"

Loras's brows shot together in shock but Renly maintained his wistful little smile so he waited in silence.

"And do you know what? It was the happiest I could remember ever being." Renly admitted, his fingers resuming their gentle carding through Loras's curls that had ceased when he began talking of the siege.

"Why?" Loras asked, fighting to keep the disgust out of his voice.

Renly looked at him softly and shrugged, "I was young, Loras. Just a boy. Locked up in a castle with 500 strange men Stannis ordered me to trust and none who would comfort me. I didn't recognise the threat in his words until I was grown. At that moment, it didn't matter that we were days from our deaths and that I would never see outside this castle again because despite all that, Stannis was talking to me. Teaching me a lesson. Paying attention to me."

Loras shuddered underneath his hands with a shaky breath.

"Like a father." he breathed and Renly hummed mildly.

"I didn't think of it that way at the time." he mused, "Though yes, I realise it now."

"Renly..." Loras murmured, staring up at him with wide eyes, a furrowed brow and a lightly quivering lip.

"Loras," Renly replied amusedly, "You're getting far too emotional over my story. I fear I should have chosen a better one. I could tell you about the time Robert almost sent the entire kingsguard to kill a man whose wife he thought most beautiful. He was drunk, of course, though then again when isn't he?"

Loras didn't look amused, however, and pressed a sword-calloused hand on Renly's chest, right over his heart.

"You were five." he sighed, eyes dancing wetly.

Renly sighed as well, meeting his lover's gaze knowingly. They shared a moment's silence, communicating everything that they refused to speak aloud. That Renly often used humour in conversations such as these to mask the true, lingering pain he felt. That Loras, despite being barely a babe at the time, was deeply sorry for his family's part in the siege.

"Yes..." Renly whispered then, his smile returning. He shifted his legs and pulled with his arms to settle Loras atop him and claimed a sweet, gentle kiss, "But don't worry-"

He stared meaningfully into Loras's eyes, cradling his face like it was precious.

"-my story has a happy ending."

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at canon era. I'M TERRIFIED!!


End file.
